Why I Suck at Business—and Why That’s Finally Okay

The Tale of a Reluctant Entrepreneur

Growing up, my dad—a savvy businessman with decades of success—made it abundantly clear that my younger sister had the “head for business,” while I... well, didn’t. Determined to prove him wrong, I spent years trying to master the art of sales, customer service, and marketing. I worked in retail, ran my own ventures, and even built a private psychology practice with a training arm to boot. And I did... ok. But I felt like I could have written the book, "How to Fail in Business While Doing Nothing But Trying"!

Turns out though, throughout all those years, all that effort and all that learning - I had been missing a pretty big piece of the puzzle.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Traditional Business

I started working for my dad at 12. He imported cane (I'm not kidding - cane!) and honestly, that was not terribly thrilling for me. So as soon as I could legally work elsewhere I moved on to selling jewelry! Now that was a product I could get behind!  

But in 'traditional' business models, the tactics and the techniques are the same no matter what you're selling. Sitting there and pricing new stock with our hefty markup—sometimes 300%, sometimes 400%. It made my skin crawl. The logic of inflating prices to later slash them for a “sale” left me cold. I hated feeling like I was tricking people. But here’s the thing: this is how traditional business works. It’s all about optimsing profits, and although it would take me decades to figure it out, profit was never going to be my primary motivator. Certainly not when it came at the expense of authenticity and human connection (the one part of the job I was really good at!).

And therein lies the rub: my values—empathy, transparency, and connection—don’t mesh well with traditional business tactics. When I offer something, whether it’s a webinar or a therapy tool, my instinct is to price it fairly, not strategically. To create value, not manipulate perception. And that’s... not great for business.

Why Therapists Aren’t Born Businesspeople

If my ongoing work with the SPARKS approach has taught me anything, it's that I'm not alone amongst my fellow therapists in being a bit of a people-pleasing perfectionist! We’ve often been raised and then trained to prioritise others’ needs above our own, which makes marketing and sales feel about as natural as juggling chainsaws. Our instincts push us to give everything away for free or at cost because, to many of us, helping people feels more important than running a profitable business. (To the point where we can negatively judge others for running a profitable business!)

But here’s the cold, hard kicker: this approach is completely and totally unsustainable. Without a healthy bottom line, we can’t keep helping people. And if we’re too burned out to enjoy the work, and eventually have to fold as well, who really benefits? 

The JC Penney Effect

A perfect example of my own “business fail” tendencies is the ill-fated experiment by JC Penney in 2012. The store slashed its prices to offer “everyday low prices,” eliminating the dopamine hit customers get from sales. It was an honorable idea, but it tanked. People love a bargain—even if it’s an illusion.

This hit home for me. My reluctance to engage in standard marketing tricks, like limited-time discounts or bundles, has likely hurt my ability to reach more people. But those strategies have always felt... icky. So, I’ve been trying to find a middle ground that works for me and for the people I’m trying to help.

Finding My Version of Success

Recently, I’ve started experimenting with bundles and value-packed offers—not because I want to trick anyone, but because I’ve realised that presenting value in a way that resonates with others doesn’t have to compromise my integrity. It’s about meeting people where they’re at so they're more likely to purchase and make use of these resources, while still staying true to my values.

For example, I’ve put together a Neuroaffirmative Practice Bundle for clinicians, packed with webinars, practical tools and bonus resources that align with new core competency requirements coming into effect for us in 2025.

These bundles are my way of saying, “I see you, I understand your struggles, and I want to make this easier for you, here's some resources that will help." But because the bundles are also repurposing some of my existing content, I can offer them at a reasonable price that fulfils my need for offering valuable resources to my fellow clinicians, but (hopefully) not at the expense of my bottom line anymore!

It’s Okay to Suck at Business

So here’s what I’ve learned: success in business is relative. I'm never going to run a business like my dad, and I'm really good with that these days.

I choose to prioritise connection over conversion, fairness over flash, and authenticity over algorithms in a way that makes sense to me and to my values and goals. It will never make me a millionaire! But now that I've learned to let go of that narrow view of what makes a "successful" business, it does makes me happy. And it allows me to focus on what matters most to me - creating those ripple effects of change that will spread out and touch people I will never know.  For me, that’s the real win.

Although, ok, being able to afford some of that 400% mark-up jewellery wouldn't be bad either....

Danielle Graber
Clinical Psychologist & Director | 12 Points Psychology