Navigating Change

Why is Change So Hard?!

Changing habits or thought patterns is certainly challenging, but understanding how your brain works can make it just a little easier. Here’s a simple analogy to set you up for success.

The Coffee Cup Exercise

Imagine holding a cup of coffee in your dominant hand (we’ll say it’s your right hand) and taking a sip – it’s easy, right? Now, try holding it in your left hand and see how it feels. Notice any pushback from your brain on that one? Even this simple change (from using your right to your left hand) can create discomfort. And this discomfort, is exactly what your brain experiences when you start trying to create new habits or change your thinking patterns – with greater changes creating greater discomfort.

Why It Feels Uncomfortable

Your brain likes to stick to what’s familiar – it’s like a well-worn path that’s easy to follow. When you try something new, it feels different and takes more effort. But the more you practice, the easier it becomes, just like if you decided to switch to drinking coffee with your left hand every day.

 The Lure of the Old Pathways

BUT, when we’re tired or stressed, it can be easy to fall back on those old pathways (they are well worn after all). For example, a month into drinking your coffee with your left hand, you get distracted by the kids fighting and your phone rings, all while trying to finish sending an important work email. Which hand do you think that coffee cup will end up in?

This is not the end of the world, or even the end of you drinking that coffee with the left hand. It’s a very reasonable and expected part of the change process. The important thing is, what comes next? Do you recommit to drinking coffee with your left hand? Or throw in the towel for good?

What Helps Keep You on Track?

Do you respond best to the carrot or the stick? Ask yourself what would make the coffee switch easier for you? Knowing that if you don’t stick to drinking with your left hand you’ll be fined $1000? (The stick?) Or  being offered a $1000 if you can maintain the switch for a year? (The carrot?) Figure out what’s important to you and use it to motivate your behaviour change. That will help navigate those occasional, unplanned returns to the old path.

You don’t learn to drive a car in a day, all change takes time and practice.

Remember, changing habits and building new pathways in your brain takes time and practice, but as with any new skill, the more you practice (and the less time you spend beating yourself up for falling back on that old pathway occasionally), pretty soon you’ll be drinking that coffee with your left hand without giving it a second thought. 

If you’re ready to start creating some new neural pathways, please get in touch: (P) 03 8799 3907 or email hello@12pointspsychology.com

Danielle Graber
Clinical Psychologist & Director | 12 Points Psychology